He walks into the ward, like a character out of a movie. He’s tall, well, not so tall, dark and kind of handsome. He reminds me of Marlon Brandon with that leather jacket. He smiles as he passes by to go into the Dr. Dexter’s office. I turn and look behind me, thinking someone is there and he’s smiling at them. I look to the left and then to the right. Nope, he’s smiling at me. He’s smiling at me. I begin to yell, “He’s he’s he’s sm sm sm smiling at me.” No one pays me any attention; they are too busy taking him in, as if he’s something to be feared. But, I can tell he’s harmless. I wonder what his story is.
I go and sit next to the Dr. Dexter’s office, hoping to get a better glance at him. I want to take him in because he appears to be brave, something I’m not. As I sit there I hear a voice say, “Well, sonny, is you gonna say hello?” I instantly freeze because I don’t know what to say. “Hey you,” he says again. This time I peep into the office and I point to myself. He laughs. He has the most powerful laugh I’ve ever heard. “Yes you; are you going to just sit there and pretend to be invisible?” he asks.
I shake my head no and say “Hi, I’m Bi Bi Billie Chapman, but my friends just call me Billie.”
He smiles and says. “I’m McMillian; it’s a pleasure to meet you Billie. My friends just call me McMillian. Say you wouldn’t happen to know where the television would be; I need to watch the World Series. Do you know what the World Series is?”
World Series, I think to myself, why would anybody want to watch a boring sport like that? It takes too long to get from 1st base back to the home spot. Is it spot or plate? I just never understand that stupid sport. Daddy use to watch it all the time. I was never good at sports, but Ryan, my baby brother, was. He could do anything, and me, I was just so dumb at stuff. Daddy never liked that I couldn’t do things right.
“Aye Sonny boy, are you in there?” McMillian asks. I guess I blanked out in my head again. Daddy, hated me always doing that. He would slap me upside my head all the time, calling me stupid boy and why can’t I ever get things right. I guess he’s the reason I don’t like baseball or anything that Ryan can do better.
Before I could respond the Dr. Dexter and Nurse Rita come and quickly close the door. I sit there trying to listen but the door is so thick I can barely hear them breathing. So, I get up and go sit with Lester and the rest of the guys. They are talking about McMillian, saying how he’s coming from the jail and now he’s nutty like us. Lester tells everyone he overheard Nurse Rita telling Warren and Nurse Itsu about the new patient coming. He supposed to be some kind of bad ass that needs their help to change himself for the better.
Devin is not impressed with McMillian. He squints his eyes whenever he’s not pleased with someone, something, somebody, basically everything. “He’s a fraud, a big ole’ phony. Walking around here showboating, grinning like he’s the king, trying to take over. I don’t like it, I tell you, I just don’t like it,” says Devin.
“I-I-I-I think he’s a pre-pre-tty important guy, to have Nurse Rita and Dr. Dexter running around on pins and needles,” I say.
“What do you know about anything, you crazy fool. You think the mouse in the corner is a pretty cool rodent,” Devin yells at me. All the fellows burst out into laughter, I feel embarrassed once again.
Nurse Rita comes out of the office and says, “Okay, everybody, it’s time for group.” We all move in unison to the group area. Everyone is excited because we know that she’ll introduce McMillian to the group and we will all get to talk to him. Everyone is acting like school yard boys finally getting a chance to hang with the popular kid. I look up and here he comes strolling over with a smile on his face. He sits down and waits for Nurse Rita to introduce him. “Everyone I want to introduce our newest member. This is Randy McMillian. I want everyone to welcome him,” she says.
We all say hi together. We each go around and introduce ourselves to him. “Hey, I’m Lester, glad to have you here buddy. Stick with me and you won’t have no troubles. I know all the kept secrets,” he says.
Nurse Rita belts out “What secrets you know?”
Lester laughs aloud and says, “Wouldn’t you like to know, Nurse Rita.” The fellows all laugh and Nurse turns beet red in her face.
“Alright, alright, simmer down, you goons,” she says. The group gets quiet and goes back to the introductions.
“I’m Devin, they call me the chief around here. I don’t take to people causing trouble or stirring up things. Stay out of my way and we’ll be just fine.”
Nurse Rita gives him the evil eye and he simmers down. “That’s enough of that madness Devin; pay him no mind Randy,” she says. Next up is Big Fellow; he’s normally quiet, never making noise, just always observing everyone else. He nods and that is the end of his introduction. Nurse Rita says, “This is Big Fellow. He’s quiet and doesn’t bother anyone. You can’t get him to speak at all. He just nods, waves and make gestures with his hands. Billie you’re up next, let’s make this quick, we don’t have all night with your stuttering.”
I am so nervous. I’ve already introduced myself to him, Nurse Rita, I think to myself, but here it goes, you can do this Billie, you got this. “H-H-Hi, my na-name is Bi-Bi-Billie. We already met over by D-D-Dr. Dexter office. I-I-I like e-e-everybody. When I’m ne-nervous I t-t-tend to st-st-stutter. If you need any help, I can help. I-I-I like to help people.”
Devin laughs out loud, “Help people, who you gonna help, when you can barely speak?” he says. That Devin gets under my skin all the time. I don’t stutter when I’m talking inside my head, just when I’m talking out loud. Man, I don’t get it.
“Da-Da-Devin, you know I help out. R-R-Remember when I-I-I helped Tu-Tu-Tuffie clean the bathroom? I helped Ta-Ta-Taber find his mis-mis-missing friend,” I say.
“Okay, that’s enough, we all get the point, Billie; you’re a good friend to have and you like helping people out. Now let’s all give Randy a chance to tell us about himself,” Nurse Rita says.
Finally, it’s his turn to speak. We all sit on the edge of our seats, like we’re waiting for the world to end. He looks around at us, like he knows he’s the man around here and we’re waiting for him to lead us. He smiles at us, looking each one of us in the eye. He crosses his legs, uncrosses them, slides on the end of his chair, throws his hands up in the air, leans into the circle and begin to speak. “Hey fellas, I’m McMillian. I’m glad to be here amongst you fellows.
Ummm, there’s really not much to it. Why am I here? Hell, why are any of us here? We’re all in this together. They tell me I’m crazy like you guys, but I think that’s yet to be seen. Now you guys are nutty; me, the way I see it is I’m just a carefree spirit wandering through this universe soaking up all the fun there is to be had,” he says.
Wow, I think, look at all that confidence. If I could be like that with Mama, when Nurse Rita tell on me. Daddy, would’ve loved me, if I could move the crowd like that. If I could not be so stupid all the time.
I ask him, “McMillian wh- wh what is jail like? I-I-I mean if you want to ta-ta talk about it.”
He looks at me and smiles with a sly smile like a fox sneaking up on his prey. He says, “Well, Billie, it’s not all peaches and cream. You’re locked behind bars like a caged animal; in my case I’d consider myself a lion, yeah, the king of the lions. The food is shitty and the hospitality sucks. It’s not the Flamingo Hotel in Vegas, but I guess for some people it’ll do. I tell you the guards are some real assholes that treat you like crap. The way some people sees it, you get a bed and three meals a day. I’d rather starve to death than be caged like an animal. I’m too big to be caged in, I have to wander around. I guess they seen it and said McMillian is nutty as a bat and he needs to be put away with other nuts. From the way, I look at it; I’ve just been upgraded to Club Met, young man. I guess this here nut house is your jail, except these here nurses and orderlies don’t walk around with guns and night sticks. I suppose their guns are the pills they pushing and that shock therapy they passing around like it’s nothing. But, anyway, how long is this here meeting gonna last? I need to watch the world series. You fellas watch that.”
Nurse Rita eyes him up and down. You can tell she’s gonna give him trouble. She’s making a mental note to put him on her list. The list of troublemakers. Devin’s been on that list forever; he’s the only one on that list. Now, he got company on that list. Devin prides himself for being the only trouble maker, the big boss in here. He’s not gonna like having to share the spotlight with McMillian, not one bit.
Everyone begin to stir around, pretending to be interested in the World series, too. We don’t watch that crap in here. I’ve never heard anyone in here even talking about it. Devin isn’t liking what he sees. Nurse Rita tries to get us back in order but it’s not working. We all scurry around moving towards the television, but the Chronics are watching TV. We call them the Chronics because they aren’t here. Their minds are floating around somewhere. I always wondered where their minds are. Have they traveled to another place? They rock back and forth making strange noises and never want to talk to us.
There is a new sheriff in the ward and his name is McMillian. He’s gonna give Dr. Dexter and Nurse Rita hell. Devin stands up; looking around, he walks away. He turns around, looks at McMillian, nods as if to say, you won this round but I will be back. McMillian turns and smile at me. I smile back, this time I know his smile is for me.